Sixties Chick

I recently had a birthday, 61 to be exact. I decided that my mantra for this birthday year is “sixty-one and having fun.” It has become my only goal.

The revelation I had on my birthday this year as I took calls from well-wishing friends and relatives is that, ironically, I am happier now than at any other time in my life. It’s hard to make sense of, even for me. I see the eyebrows raise as I say it. Oh sure!

There is no six figure salary, no home at the shore. I have no awards on the wall for professional excellence or distinguished service. I am divorced going on 14 years and have no partner to share my life with. I drive a 1994 Sentra, and there is no pension, no retirement fund, no 401 K, not even the tiniest portfolio.

In fact, there are months when I cannot figure out what magic will bring the money to pay the bills.

What I do have – is a body that works well, and a mind that if I can keep it from running the show, can be helpful to me in my work not to mention the day to day tasks of living. I have a deep appreciation for beauty, both natural and manmade and am amazed how it fills me up. A bright little yellow bird on a branch stopped me in my tracks the other day.

I have a great admiration for life’s absurdities. And there are many here on the planet -a tragicomedy that never ceases to captivate. At 61, I have a trust in a bigger picture which helps me to remember not to take it so seriously. I laugh more.

I have an open heart and a lot of compassion and try awfully hard to keep judgment from clouding my vision. I finally know that I do not have all the answers and am not afraid to let you know it too. It’s fine with me to be wrong.

Sure, I haven’t finished the novel yet, and I could exercise more. I could be more disciplined in my work, and I could stop hating Republicans.

But I accept it all. And I’m willing to look at myself, even with the frown lines and the cellulite because I like being more conscious every day. Even when the tug of jealousy, anger, or fear rise up and whisper, “I’m here,” I catch it a lot quicker these days, sometimes in mid-air. I am not afraid of the dark. I acknowledge it, thank it for sharing, and then ask it to quiet down. I reel the monster right back in so that love can unfold instead.

Finally, I find myself to be quite a character, a character whom I really like a whole lot. I delight myself. And that’s quite a thing to be able to say at 61.

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