Sixties Chick

The letter that arrived in yesterday’s mail begins, “At Capital One, we are committed to providing valuable customers like you with honest and open communications.” How kind. The honest and open communications they are referring to is to be found on page two where I am informed that my cash advance rate will now be 21.65% plus prime or 24.9%  if calculated today. The default rate, meaning if I were to pay the bill more than three days late, will now be charged at a rate of 26.15% plus prime, a whopping 29.4%, also by today’s calculations.  Capital One says I am free to decline these new conditions by closing my account. It is nice that they give me that option. I suppose it’s because I am such a valuable customer.

I stand, letter in hand, and without warning, my mind turns to Jesus – a rather strange occurrence for a Jewish girl, don’t you think? What would Jesus say, I wonder? What would Jesus think about Capital One’s letter to their valuable customer?

His friend Matthew who, as an ex-tax collector, knew a lot about pissing people off, tells us how angry Jesus was upon seeing the money lenders (otherwise read as bankers) in the temple; angry enough to overturn tables and throw the whole bunch out on their ears, a pretty aggressive act for a peace loving guy. Was it only because they were doing business in God’s house? Desecrating a place of worship?

One Jewish historian thinks not. Thanks to Josephus who was there taking notes, we know about the huge disparity between the rich and the poor in the time of Herod, of the outrageous excesses of the rich; of poor families driven from their homes to live in the slums of Jerusalem. We have hair raising accounts of the immense debt owed by the great masses to the precious few from loans made at usurious rates. Now I’m no Biblical scholar, but I would guess that this didn’t sit too well with Jesus either. From the little I know about him, I would say he probably did not approve of gouging “thy brother.” In fact, here’s where he coins the expression “den of thieves.”

Not that I’m comparing Capital One to a den of thieves. No, they have every right to charge whatever they like to lend me money, right? There’s no such thing as too excessive a rate, is there? Usury is one of those concepts from the old days when interest rates could be considered “unconscionable.” But usury has long since disappeared; now rates are set by competitive forces of the free market. What a relief!

I have a friend who, in the past when money got tight, made periodic trips down to South Philly to see her “shark.” She told me he never smiled, but she was very grateful none-the-less, even at 30% interest. On the rare weeks when she didn’t have the entire amount to pay him, she would truck back down to South Philly, envelope in hand with the vig only, just the interest. You know, like the minimum payment on your credit card. “Most people,” she said, “ended up paying him for the rest of their lives. And he never broke legs unless we were talking a whole lot of money.”

So really, the choice is mine. I could quit complaining and accept the questionable terms of those no good, dirty rotten Capital One sons of bitches. I could quit complaining, swallow hard and cut up that blood sucking card – even if it means not being able to rent a car or finance a furnace repair, say in January. Or, I could quit complaining, brush up on my Italian and head straight for South Philly.

Tags: Capital One, credit cards, shark, usury

This entry was posted on March 6, 2009 at 6:09 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.