Is it just me or does it seem as if half the U.S. population is having a hard time getting it on? If you watch even a little TV, you can’t help but notice the number of ads devoted to the likes of Viagra, Cialis and Levitra. Hey Bob Dole, help us out here. What’s going on?
There they are, the attractive “mature” couple, hand in hand, seemingly delighted over a game of golf on the great green fairway, a look of eager anticipation on their smiling faces. But these two are not thinking about getting the ball into that small hole. No, they are busy picturing the pleasure of their upcoming sexual tryst – either that night or the next morning or even at tea time the following afternoon. Whenever the time is right in their 36-hour window of opportunity.
A male friend of mine thinks it’s just another con job by Madison Avenue – a “hard” sell to the American people in which big Pharma once again addresses the symptom rather than the cause. Never mind, he says, that two thirds of the population is overweight and dealing daily with diabetes, clogged arteries, high blood pressure and the stress of paying for things they can’t afford including health care.
But hey, I see it this way. As the American Dream continues to go up in smoke, Viagra and the like offer the hope of a new American Dream. It gives us something to believe in once more – just as home ownership, a college education, and a business of one’s own become totally unattainable for us middleclassers. We’ll have a new measure of success – an erection to rival the soaring Chrysler building. Or the everlasting Eveready Bunny. No more saving. No more scrimping. It can be here and now and can go on and on. Guaranteed gratification with just one swallow.
And what could be more American than heaven in pill form? Fast, effective and painless. Nirvana with just the turn of a screw cap. To add to our medicine chests full of diet pills, anti-depressants, cold tablets and anxiety pills, we clever Americans have now found our way to a more enlightened definition of American achievement. The eternal erection is far more modern and in fact, much more American than simply a “chicken in every pot or a car in every garage.” For our long-suffering American men and their insatiable (or is it exhausted?) women, let’s give a hardy salute for the new American Dream. As the great patriot John Cameron Swayze used to say about another American staple, “It takes a licking and keeps on ticking!”
For those under thirty-five, go google John Cameron Swayze.
Sixties Chick 